Everything is so messed up in my head. I have so many thoughts racing. I am very tired of people telling me to stop trying to save everyone it's not my job and some people can't be saved they just go down in flames. Well guess what? It makes me feel good! I feel like I am actually doing something that matters in this gray world. Oh well shit I guess they are right...
Why? because I am feeling more and more that I am living my life for others and not myself. I feel like there are too many people who depend on me and most shouldn't be. There is two people (and a fur baby) I MUST take care of above all. Then there are a FEW and I do mean DAMN FEW who I will lift up in time of need and will always be there for, as long as they understand that the well being of Scott, Champagne and myself come first.
I am NOT a well person, not at all... I have many mental and physical issues that are pulling me down and I am not dealing with. So there is a change coming and it's coming damn fast. I am sorry but 27 years of super girl is DONE. I am locking her away and only will my true friends get her in there time of need. I need to sit down and decide what truly makes me happy and what i want to do. I know that Photography, it makes me happy, Dolling/Pixeling it makes me happy, reading, it makes me happy, coloring, it makes me happy and Farmville/Frontierville it MOST defiantly makes me happy.
So? Well leave me to do them... I am not at your beck and call, I am not here in this world to serve you, fuck that I don't have personal rug slave tattooed on my head. If I say no, it means NO and no amount of begging and pleading is going to change my mind. I need to stand up and back my NO's instead of wilting.
Far too long have I neglected Carly, The dolling community, my photography and more, sorry but it's the truth. I cam to TN to have a life and by Goddess I will have it, whether it upsets people who think I am a slave or not.
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